Kai Loves No One
by chanachan
Summary: [Re-written!] Short and pointless, though it goes straight to the point. Kai loves neither Mary Sue nor Rei nor Tyson. Kai loves no one.


Kai Loves No One

By Anu-Chan

xXx

He was a fine young fellow, I tell you. He never would have tried to make any sort of social contact with his 'friends' or family; he never would have followed girls around, begging for a quick shag; hell, he never would have even dared to think twice to let himself fall in love with someone. And I, on a personal basis, find that a superlative way to live.

            Kai Hitwari was glued to isolation.

            But that was until he hit puberty.

"I was someone to _love _me. I want someone to _understand _me."

            It was the only thing that echoed in the narrow corridors of a Beyblading arena, nestled somewhere in some country that no one had ever heard of. And much to Kai's luck, there was no one there to hear his pleas for a fervent lover.

            Poor Kai. Poor, _poor Kai._

            "Maybe," the funny coloured hair boy began as he walked towards to where his 'friends' would have been practicing their Beyblading skills. "Maybe I can _find _someone to love me!" He plastered a stranger, also known as a 'smile' to us humans, on his face, making him look rather fraudulent, which he did not even realise. "Yeah. I think I'll do _just _that."

As the excited, young boy walked up a flight of spiral staircase, he felt a sudden pain pierce itself into his stomach. It, honestly, hurt the poor child. And turning around from where the sudden smell of strawberries was coming from, the pain began to deepen.

            He saw an angel.

            No wait. It was only a Mary Sue.

            Letting out quick moans, he held onto his stomach. He did not want to feel pain. Not now. So, pushing aside the fear of him dying alone, Kai became overwhelmed by the multi-coloured creature in from of him. She had natural, bright blue hair, blessed with pink highlights, and the bangs, which softly covered her forehead, were a bright yellow shade. Her eyes danced with excitement and changed every seven seconds, or so, in the order of the rainbow.

            Gosh. She was indeed someone to fuck. Maybe even someone to love.

            Still holding onto his stomach and looking down at the stranger, who was standing three steps bellow him, he mellifluously whispered. "Wh-who are you?"

            "Call me Plastic. I'm the new player to the Blade Breakers. My father raped me when I was younger, so I set out to find someone who will _love _me; someone who will _understand _me." She seductively played around with a lock of her 'unique' hair, wrapping it around her slender finger, as she tried to manipulate Kai's virgin mind.

            "'love and understand'…?"

            "Yes. Will you be that person?"

            But he did not reply. Instead, he held onto his heart--not literally, of course--and winced. "I…I feel strange…" He bit his lower lip as he tried to figure out the blatant facts.

            _'Could she be the one I can love?' _he contemplated. _'She must be. My stomach…it must be the magical butterflies. Yes. It must be. I l-lo--"_

He could not hold it any longer. The pain was too much to bear.

            "What is wrong, oh beautiful creature?" Plastic hesitantly took a step towards her new team mate, and possibly her soul partner. "Is there something the matter?"

            Kai look directly into her funny coloured eyes. "I-I think…"

            "You think what?"

            "I think…"

            "What is it, kind sir?"

            "I think I'm in love with you, Metal."

            Her eyes widened with shock. "You…you are? And it's Plastic."

            "Whatever you say, Wood." Kai smiled softly. "I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. It _must be love!"_

            "It must…?"

            But Kai did not reply to the pointless question. Instead, the young Beyblader did probably the most natural thing ever.

            He farted.

            And thanks to the methane gas, to which Plastic was allergic to, she was blown up into little pieces.

            "It knew I shouldn't have eaten that out-of-date burrito." Kai shook his head and continued to walk up the stairs. "I guess Paper was not the one for me to love."

Kai gradually walked into the practice zone--yet to accept the fact that he was _still alone._

            He needed someone else. And he thought that if he was to shower one with praise, his prayers would have been answered. So Kai was going to try to be nice. For once.

            "Who shall I choose?" whispered he, while scanning the room, soon to notice that he was surrounded by teenage boys only. _Horny _teenage boys.

            Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

            _'No way!' _thought he, as he let his legs carry him in a random direction. _'I can't choose a guy! That's just being gay! AND I'M NOT GAY!' But considering the facts and the amount of time he had left before he exploded into billions and trillions of lonely and unstable molecular particles, he gave into the idea. __'Fine!__ But I'm not gay!'_

He looked straight ahead to see who was in front of him. The first person who his eyes would have locked onto would have been the victim of his compliments.

            Takao. 

            Joy.

            Kai walked over to where the food-obsessed teenager was standing. He hesitated at first and would have, repeatedly, whispered 'I'm _not _gay' under his breath. But, in the end, he plucked up enough confidence to get it over and done with. 

            Compliments. That was all he had to give to the blue-haired beyblader. Compliments.

            "So, Takao," he began as he watched the boy fervently eat away at his hot dog, "you look fatter than usual. Have you been putting on some weight?"

            _'Great! That would probably be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him! Keep it up, Kai!'_

"No…I haven't…" he replied, seeming hurt at first, but it was put aside with a gentle shrug. Thus, he continued to nibble away at his snack.

            "Oh… I see." Silence soon overtook them for a moment, but Kai saw to that matter. "I hear that you suck and swallow. That's true, right?"

            Takao stared at Kai, slowly blinking at the remarks of his team-mate. "Kai, are you _trying to make me _love _you because you want someone to _understand _you?"_

            "Yes."

            "Well, I'm not gay, like you, buddy. So you'll have to find someone else."

            Kai glared at his exasperating 'friend': "I am _not _gay, you fat head. I'm just trying to seek my soul partner."

            "Yeah, but you're gay."

            "I'm not GAY!"

            "Liar."

            "Yeah, well, you're fat!" And having said those last words, Kai marched away from Takao, and growling under his breath he said, "I guess Takao was not the one for me to love."

An hour had soon come to pass, and Kai had no luck, whatsoever, on finding his true love.

            Looking around the practice zone, again, he pondered on whom he was to pick on for the twentieth time. He guessed that it would have been easy to find someone to love him now that he had it all planned out in his mind. According to his latest theory, all he had to do was place his fist in front of someone's face and bully them into loving him.

            It was pure _genius, Kai would have claimed every moment, or so. But who was going to be his next victim?_

            Ah yes; Rei Kon. Who else could it have been?

            Walking over to the Chinese boy, Kai prepared his exact words of passion. 

            "Love me, bitch, or I shall make your life a living hell!" His clenched fist was barley a centimetre away from the sexy Beyblader's face--who was, overall, shocked and confused at his actions.

            "Sorry, Kai. I'm not gay, like you."

            Kai let out a slight growl; "I'm not gay! I'm not! I just want someone to _love _me!"

            Rei quickly cleaned his teeth with his tongue. "Well, sorry. I'm not that person who will love you."

            Kai pouted, but refused to move his fist away. "I guess Rei was not the one for me to love."

            "Well, there is a water fountain that sounds _just _like you! Maybe I can hook you two up?"

            Kai moved away from his 'friend' and let his fist become another victim of gravity by letting it drop to his side. He had finally given up. "Very well. If it means that someone will be able to _love_** and _understand me, then I'll do it."_**

            And so he did. Kai fell in love with the water fountain at first sight. However, just at that precise moment, his hormones calmed down and he had overcome puberty.

            And it was then when Kai realised that he never had, and never will, love anyone.

            He broke the heart of a water fountain just to learn this. He would have been better off asking me.

            The moral of this story? **Kai loves no one**. Get it into your heads.

***The pointless end***

xXx

O.o; Yer…that was…interesting. OOC Kai so does not kick ass. And now you can see why. So, I ask myself once again: what the _fuck is this? I __still don't know. I don't care. I always thought Kai was a 'cool' person…until he became all 'nice' and took sides with his team again ;__; this fic was written in the memory of his misfit and devious personality. Phoar…I MISS EVIL KAI _ _

Anyways. Flames *will* be scorned--unless they're pussy comments that don't make sense or are signed anonymously. Compliments will be…urm…admired? No. They will simply be thanked by me (not personally). And criticism? I don't need any for this fic, as it was completely full of British shite.

For now,

Anu-Chan 


End file.
